An Otaku Looks At Forty
by Beagle-san
Summary: Ramblings by an aging otaku result in a songfic taken from Jimmy Buffett's


An Otaku Looks At Forty  
By Beagle-san  
This is a song-fic, taken (with profuse, unceasing and undying apologies)  
from Jimmy Buffet's "A Pirate Looks at Forty."(copyright Jimmy Buffett and  
MCA Records) Jimmy, the next time you're in New Orleans, the cheeseburgers  
at the Camellia Grill are on me. Likewise, anime shows and characters  
referenced therefrom, are not my property but the property of their  
respective owners.  
  
An Otaku Looks At Forty  
  
Mother, mother anime, I have watched your call  
Wanted to dive into your visions  
Since I was five feet tall.  
You've seen it all, you've seen it all.  
  
Watch the men who've made you  
Switch to digital from cel,  
And in your heart you hold the treasure  
Of dreams still yet unseen, dreams of both Heaven and Hell.  
Of dreams yet unseen, of dreams yet unseen.  
  
Yes, I am an otaku, perhaps I'm not too late.  
I don't speak Nihon I can't read kanji  
And this almost forty hombre can't read romanji too great,  
But the DVDs give me a break, yes, DVDs give me a break.  
  
I've done a slew of conventions.  
I've wrote my share of fanfics  
Mostly 'bout whether a gal named Aeka  
Can avoid the uncertainties of fate.  
Avoiding a fate, avoiding a fate.  
  
I've been glassy-eyed for over two weeks  
Watching Love Hina and Ranma, Slayers and Tenchi  
Wondering about OVA 3.  
Aeka, Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, Mihoshi, Ryo-Ohki and now Noike, too?  
Why can't he choose, why can't he choose?  
  
I like anime women, I love the real ones, too  
Kyoko Otanshi, Aeka Masaki, Naru Narusegawa, plus Kasumi Tendo as well.  
But at the end of the day, it's my wife I go home to  
And in my son's chest where a new otaku heart does dwell.  
It'll just take awhile, it'll just take awhile.  
  
Mother, mother anime, I still feel your call  
But with a son almost two  
Whose favorite character is Pooh  
I've got to pay for college as well.  
Perhaps I'll download, perhaps I'll download.  
  
Author's notes: This is an idea that's been rattling around in my head,  
which I've managed to complete (or mangle, take your choice - I'll not say  
which I think has occurred ^_^;;; ). The one thing I am sure of is that I  
managed to write this with under a week left of being able to say that I'm  
still 30something. Time waits for no man (or woman) unless you're an anime  
character. Tenchi and his prospective harem remain effectively ageless.  
There is an upside to being a fictional character in harem anime. As to  
the songfic:  
  
I've been into anime "since I was five feet tall". My actual first exposure  
to anime, Speed Racer, came when I was closer to 3 feet than 5 feet in  
height, but I became aware of anime for what it was in the 1970s (I'm 6'2",  
to give an idea of the time that I've been an anime fan).  
  
"Aeka, Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, Mihoshi, Ryo-Ohki and now Noike, too?" The  
first 6 girls are from the first 13.5 episodes of the Tenchi Muyo OVA, with  
seventh gal, Noike, soon to appear in the Tenchi household in OVA 3.  
  
"Kyoko Otanshi, Aeka Masaki, Naru Narusegawa, plus Kasumi Tendo as well."  
  
Kyoko Otanashi is the heroine, of the manga and anime by Rumiko Takahashi,  
"Maison Ikkoku, and was one of the top five all-time heroines of anime  
based on a poll of 10,000 Japanese adults.  
  
Aeka Masaki is the well-mannered, prim and proper Princess, with quite a  
temper, of Tenchi Muyo.  
  
Naru Narusegawa is the heroine of "Love Hina".  
  
Kasumi Tendo is the loving and almost unflappable older sister of Akane and  
Nabiki Tendo. Her gentle, loving spirit can be found in Rumiko Takahashi's  
"Ranma 1/2".  
  
"Why can't he choose, why can't he choose?" Here I wasn't referring to what  
his choice might be (one gal, two gals, three gals, more) merely that there  
remains no choice of any kind.  
  
If you're wondering why certain gals and anime made it into this songfic,  
the only fore-planned appearance was by the Tenchi gals; the others just  
popped into my head, which is why, only now, do I look at this and wonder  
whether I should put Belldandy in, or try to fake it and argue that as a  
goddess, she'd have needed a separate grouping. Yeah, that's the  
ticket...unless I'm thinking out loud, again. ^_^;;;  
  
"Nihon" means "Japan", not "Japanese"; poetic license was deliberately  
taken, both figuratively and literally.  
  
And no, I'm not advocating the unlawful downloading of copyrighted material  
off the Net.  
  
Yet. ^_^  
  
And to any of my fellow Parrotheads who want to declare open-season on me  
for acts of defilement and desecration, I went that a'way.   
  
C & C is welcome at beagle_san@hotmail.com 


End file.
